As I drove into work yesterday I saw a road sign that said something like this: NYS law, Truck brake noise not to exceed 90db. Then I realized even with Maria's hearing aids she cannot even hear a sound that most of us have a law to protect us from. Just a thought.
While I was holding Maria, someone looked at Kirstie and asked "now this one is actually yours?" How do you respond to that? They're both actually mine. I know it's hard for some to fathom, but the love is the same. When Kirstie came into the world we wanted to hold her and hug her and protect her right away. When Maria first came into our view we wanted to hold her and hug her and protect her right away.
Another comment that we're hearing a lot is "well at least you already knew she was deaf and had delays." Just because we knew doesn't mean that we don't want to give her every possible advantage. Many parents know ahead of time that their child will have a disability, but when that child is born they still grieve what could have been. They still long to fix every hurt and every potential mean word that may be directed at their child in the future. Whether or not Maria hears is not in our power, but in God's. Whether or not she will catch up with her peers is not in our power, but in God's. We don't know the end of Maria's story and we have to be content with what lies ahead, but just because we had a warning does not mean that this road is easy. Yes, we chose this road, just as a person with an unborn child chooses to keep her child with disabilities, but that does not mean we do not need God's grace everyday to make the choices that will not only affect Maria, but will also affect everyone in our family. If she never hears or never catches up will we love her any less? Most certainly not, but we still must give her every opportunity to grow into the person God wants her to be and only He knows what her future holds.
Just some random thoughts that must have needed to be written down:) We travel to NYC again next Thursday morning for presurgical testing. Thanks again for keeping us in your prayers.